Archive for September, 2011

Mother Of All Jihadist Jokes

Posted in Now That's Some Funny Shit, Political on September 30, 2011 by The Blonde

Two Middle East mothers are sitting in a cafe chatting over a plate of tabouli and a pint of goat’s milk.
The older of the two pulls a small folder out of her handbag and starts flipping through photos. They start reminiscing.
”This is my oldest son, Mujibar. He would have been 24 years old now.”
”Yes, I remember him as a baby.” says the other mother cheerfully.
“He’s a martyr now though.” the mother confides.
“Oh, so sad dear…” says the other.
”And this is my second son, Khalid. He would have been 21.”
”Oh, I remember him,” says the other happily, ”he had such curly hair when he was born.”
”He’s a martyr too…” says the mother quietly.
”Oh, gracious me…” says the other.
”And this is my third son.  My baby. My beautiful Ahmed. He would have  been 18 ”, she whispers.
“Yes,” says the friend enthusiastically, ”I remember when he first started school…”
”He’s a martyr also,” says the mother, with tears in her eyes.
After a pause and a deep sigh, the second Muslim mother looks wistfully at the photographs and, searching for the right words, says . . .
“They blow up so fast, don’t they?”

 

Thanks Lynelle

 

Sometimes You Need A Dry Erase Board!

Posted in Now That's Some Funny Shit on September 29, 2011 by The Blonde

Last year, when the power mower was broken and wouldn’t run, I kept hinting to my husband that he ought to get it fixed, but somehow the message never sank in.

Finally I thought of a clever way to make the point.

When my husband arrived home that day, he found me seated in the tall grass, busily snipping away with a tiny pair of sewing scissors.

He watched silently for a short time and then went into the house. He was gone only a few moments when he came out again. He handed me a toothbrush. “When you finish cutting the grass,” he said, “you might as well sweep the sidewalks.”

 

 

Gotta thank the husband for this one, figures. 🙂

Worst Hunting Dog Ever

Posted in Now That's Some Funny Shit on September 22, 2011 by The Blonde

 

 

Thanks Lynelle

Happy Anniversary Mom & Dad

Posted in Family on September 19, 2011 by The Blonde

I would like to wish my Mom and Dad a happy anniversary, 52 years is a long time to be with the same person.  You are both great parents and I love you very much.

Happy Anniversary Mom & Dad

My Living Will

Posted in Now That's Some Funny Shit with tags on September 18, 2011 by The Blonde

My Living Will

Last night, my kids and I were sitting

In the living room and I said to them,

“I never want to live in a

vegetative state, dependent on

some machine and fluids from a bottle.

If that ever happens, just pull the plug.”

They got up, unplugged the

computer and threw out my wine!!

The little bastards.

Thanks Lynelle

Remember When?

Posted in General on September 15, 2011 by The Blonde

Do you remember when the Volkswagen looked like this?

Well, look at what you can get for $24,500.  I would certainly drive it.  Pretty sharp looking car, for a Slug Bug.


The Beetle is all-new for 2012, and VW is producing 600 of these Black Turbo Launch Edition models as a coming-out party. The Black Turbo Launch Edition is powered by VW’s trusty 2.0-liter 200-horsepower turbocharged 4-cylinder engine backed by a dual-clutch automatic transmission. Other nifty features include 18-inch alloy wheels, a rear spoiler, fog lights, Bluetooth/iPod connectivity, 3-color ambient lighting, larger brakes with red calipers, special cloth seats and an 8-speaker audio system. The car is available via pre-order only at vw.com.

HERE IS ALL I WANT

Posted in Political on September 11, 2011 by The Blonde

Obama: Gone!
Borders: Closed!
Language: English only
Culture: Constitution, and the Bill of Rights!
Drug Free: Mandatory Drug Screening before Welfare!
NO Freebies to: Non-Citizens!