Archive for February, 2011

A Face To Make You Smile

Posted in Family, From The Heart on February 27, 2011 by The Blonde

These are the most recent pictures of our beautiful grandaughter, Miss. Bella, taken this morning.  Just wanted to share with everyone.

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Heed the Warning, America!!

Posted in Now That's Some Funny Shit, Political on February 25, 2011 by The Blonde

This morning the Muslim Brotherhood warned the United States that if the United States continues meddling in Egypt they intend to cut off Americas supply of 7-11 and Motel 6 managers.
If this action does not yield sufficient results, cab drivers will be next, followed by Dell, AT&T and AOL customer service reps.
Finally, if all else fails, they have threatened not to send us any more presidents either.

It is gonna get ugly, people……

 

 

 

Thanks Lynelle

Baby Giraffe

Posted in General on February 23, 2011 by The Blonde

Her eyes are beautiful. Most babies measuring 5 ft would be considered big, but newborn giraffe, Margaret, atChester  Zoo,  UK is seen as unusually small for her species. She is one of the smallest giraffes ever born at ChesterZoo but pint-sized Margaret will soon be an animal to look up to.

Little Margaret, who is the first female Rothschild giraffe born at the zoo, is being hand-reared by her dedicated keepers. The first calf for six-year-old mum Fay, Margaret, who was born two weeks early, tipped the scales at just 34 kilos (75 lbs) and is a mere 5 ft tall.

Tim Rowland ‘ s, team leader of the Giraffes section, said: ‘ Margaret is one of the smallest giraffe calves we have ever seen. Fay isn ‘ t the largest of giraffes and Margaret was also early which might go some way to explaining her size. ‘ Margaret was having difficulty suckling so our keeping team are now hand-rearing her’.

Keeper is hiding her milk bottle…

 

Thanks Dad Joe

Something To Think About

Posted in General on February 22, 2011 by The Blonde

‘Be kinder than necessary because everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle.’
A sharp tongue can cut your own throat.
If you want your dreams to come true, you mustn’t oversleep.
Of all the things you wear, your expression is the most important.
The best vitamin for making friends….. B1.
The happiness of your life depends on the quality of your thoughts.
The heaviest thing you can carry is a grudge.
One thing you can give and still keep….is your word.
You lie the loudest when you lie to yourself.
If you lack the courage to start, you have already finished.
One thing you can’t recycle is wasted time.
Ideas won’t work unless ‘ You’ do.
Your mind is like a parachute…it functions only when open.
The 10 commandments are not a multiple choice.
The pursuit of happiness is the chase of a lifetime!
It is never too late to become what you might have been.
Life is too short to wake up with regrets.
So love the people who treat you right.
Forget about the ones who don’t.
Believe everything happens for a reason.
If you get a second chance, grab it with both hands.
If it changes your life, let it.
Nobody said life would be easy, they just promised it would be worth it.
Friends are like balloons; once you let them go, you might not get them back.
Sometimes we get so busy with our own lives and problems that we may not even notice that we’ve let them fly away.
Sometimes we are so caught up in who’s right and who’s wrong that we forget what’s right and wrong.
Sometimes we just don’t realize what real friendship means until it is too late.

 

 

Thanks Mom/Donna

Deaf Wife

Posted in Now That's Some Funny Shit on February 21, 2011 by The Blonde

A man feared his wife wasn’t hearing as well as she used to and he thought she might need a hearing aid.
Not quite sure how to approach her, he called the family doctor to discuss  the problem.
The Doctor told him there is a simple informal test the husband could  perform to give the  doctor a better idea about her hearing loss.
Here’s what you do,” said the Doctor, “stand about 40 feet away from her, and in a normal conversational speaking tone see if she hears you.
If not, go to 30 feet, then 20 feet, and so on until you get a response.”
That evening, the wife is in the kitchen cooking dinner, and he was in the  den. He says to himself, “I’m about 40 feet away, let’s see what happens.”
Then in a normal tone he asks, ‘Honey, what’s for dinner?”
No response..
So the husband moves closer to the kitchen, about 30 feet from his wife  and repeats, “Honey, what’s for dinner?”
Still no response.
Next he moves into the dining room where he is about 20 feet from his wife and asks, “Honey, what’s for dinner?”
Again no response.
So, he walks up to the kitchen door, about 10 feet away.. “Honey, what’s  for dinner?”
Again there is no response.
So he walks right up behind her… “Honey, what’s for dinner?”
(I just love this)
“Ralph, for THE FIFTH time, CHICKEN!”

 

Thanks Lynelle

Grandpa Vs Grandma

Posted in Now That's Some Funny Shit on February 20, 2011 by The Blonde

Have you ever wondered what the difference is between Grandmothers and  Grandfathers?  Well, here it is:
There  was this loving grandfather who always made a special effort to spend time with  his son’s family on weekends.  Every Saturday morning he would take his  7-year-old granddaughter out for a drive in the car for some quality time —  just he and his granddaughter.
One particular  Saturday, however, he had a bad cold and really didn’t feel like being up at  all.  He knew his granddaughter always looked forward to their drives and  would be disappointed.  Luckily, his wife came to the rescue and said that  she would take their granddaughter for the drive.
When they returned, the little girl anxiously ran upstairs to see her  grandfather who was still in bed.  “Well, did you enjoy your ride with  grandma?” he asked.  “Oh, yes, Grandpa, it was really  wonderful.  We didn’t see a single asshole, blind  bastard, dip shit or son of a bitch anywhere we went!”

Thanks Mom/Lynelle

The Blind Bunny

Posted in Political on February 19, 2011 by The Blonde

One morning a blind bunny was hopping down the bunny trail and tripped over a large snake and fell right on his twitchy little nose.
“Oh please excuse me,” said the bunny. “I didn’t mean to trip over you, but I’m blind and can’t see.”

“That’s perfectly all right,” replied the snake. “To be sure, it was my fault. I didn’t mean to trip you, but I’m blind too, and I didn’t see you coming. By the way, what kind of animal are you?”

“Well, I really don’t know,” said the bunny. “I’m blind, and I’ve never seen myself. Maybe you could examine me and find out.”

So the snake felt the bunny all over, and he said, “Well, you’re soft, and cuddly, and you have long silky ears, and a little fluffy tail and a dear twitchy little nose. You must be a bunny rabbit!

The bunny said, “I can’t thank you enough. But by the way, what kind of animal are you?”

The snake replied that he didn’t know either, and the bunny agreed to examine him, and when the bunny was finished, the snake asked, “Well, what kind of an animal am I?”

The bunny had felt the snake all over, and he replied, “You’re cold, you’re slippery, and you haven’t got any balls…. You must be on of thoes slippery politicians you hear so many bad things about”

Thanks Ron