10 Ways to Terrorize a Telemarketer

10. When they ask “How are you today?” Tell them! “I’m so glad you asked because no one these days seems to care, and I have all these problems; my arthritis is acting up, my eyelashes are sore, my dog just died.”

9. If they say they’re John Doe from XYZ Company, ask them to spell their name. Then ask them to spell the company name. Then ask them where their company is located. Continue asking them personal questions or questions about their for as long as necessary. Such as when did their company start, who was the founder, are they still with company?

8. Cry out in surprise, the name of the telemarketer name such as “Judy! Is that you? Oh my word! Judy, how have you been?” Hopefully, this will give “Judy” a few brief moments of pause as she tries to figure out where the hell she could know you from.

7. If MCI calls trying to get you to sign up for the Family and Friends plan, reply, in as SINISTER a voice as you can, “I don’t have any friends… would you be my friend?”

6. If they want to loan you money, tell them you just filed for bankruptcy and you could sure use some money.

5. Tell the telemarketer you are on “home arrest” and ask if they could bring you a case of beer and some chips.

4. After the telemarketer gives their spiel, ask him/her to marry you. When they get all flustered, tell them that you could not just give your credit card number to a complete stranger.

3. Tell the telemarketer you are busy at the moment and ask them if they will give you their HOME phone number so you can call them back. When the telemarketer explains that they cannot give out their HOME number, you say “I guess you don’t want anyone bothering you at home, right?” The telemarketer will agree and you say, “Now you know how I feel!”

2. Insist that the caller is really your buddy Leon, playing a joke. “Come on Leon , cut it out! Seriously, Leon , how’s your momma?”

And first and foremost:

1. Tell them to talk VERY SLOWLY, because you want to write EVERY WORD down.

 

 

Thanks Lynelle

Debt Ceiling Explained….

 Let’s say, you come home from work and find there has been a sewer backup in your neighborhood.

Your home has sewage all the way up to your ceilings.
What do you think you should do? Raise the ceilings or pump out the poop?

Your choice is coming next November. Don’t miss the opportunity.

Thanks Donna

A Real Cowboy Has NO FEAR!

Thanks Larry

The Bottle of Wine

For all of us who are married, were married, wish you were married, or wish you weren’t married, this is something to smile about the next time you see a bottle of wine:

Sally was driving home from one of her business trips in Northern Arizona when she saw an elderly Navajo woman walking on the side of the road.
As the trip was a long and quiet one, she stopped the car and asked the Navajo woman if she would like a ride.
With a silent nod of thanks, the woman got into the car.
Resuming the journey, Sally tried in vain to make a bit of small talk with the Navajo woman. The old woman just sat silently, looking intently at everything she saw, studying every little detail,
until she noticed a brown bag on the seat next to Sally.
 ’What in bag?’ asked the old woman. Sally looked down at the brown bag and said, ‘It’s a bottle of wine. I got it for my husband.’
The Navajo woman was silent for another moment or two. Then speaking with the quiet wisdom of an elder, she said:
‘Good trade…..’

 

Thanks Donna

2011 In Review

Here are some interesting stats that WordPress has provided about my blog.  I just thought I would share them with my readers.  Thanks for a good year everyone, and please keep coming back.

Here’s an excerpt:

The concert hall at the Syndey Opera House holds 2,700 people. This blog was viewed about 32,000 times in 2011. If it were a concert at Sydney Opera House, it would take about 12 sold-out performances for that many people to see it.

Click here to see the complete report.

Lambeau Field Veterans Tribute

Media at it’s worst:
This is what ESPN failed to show on Monday night 11/14/11. Apparently they thought their commercials were more important than showing this wonderful Veteran’s Day tribute for about 5 seconds!

This is just awesome, and not just because I am a huge Green Bay Packers fan.  It’s just a beautiful sight to see people paying this kind of tribute to our soldiers.  Thanks Lambeau Field and all the Green Bay Wisconsin citizens.

Click on the image for the actual size

Thanks Dad Joe

Christmas Cheer

I said I wanted a puppy!

Thanks Dad Joe

Siblings, Gotta Love Em

Damn, if I could turn back the clock I would do that to my brother, that’s some seriously funny shit right there.

Happy Holidays

Here’s a great recipe for your family/work parties during this holiday season!

Tequila Christmas Cake
1 cup sugar
1 tsp. baking powder
1 cup water
1 tsp. salt
1 cup brown sugar
Lemon juice
4 large eggs
Nuts
1 bottle tequila
2 cups dried fruit

Sample the tequila to check quality. Take a large bowl; check the tequila again to be sure it is of the highest quality. Repeat. Turn on the electric mixer. Beat one cup of butter in a large fluffy bowl. Add 1 teaspoon of sugar. Beat again. At this point, it is best to make sure the tequila is still OK. Try another cup just in case. Turn off the mixerer thingy. Break 2 eegs and add to the bowl and chuck iin the cup of dried fruit. Pick the fruit up off the floor. Mix on the turner. If the fried druit getas stuck in the beaterers, just pry it loose with a drewscriver. Sample the tequila to test for tonsisticity. Next, sift 2 cups of salt, or something. Check the tequila. Now shift the lemon ice strain your nuts. Add one table. Add a spoon of sugar, or somefink. Whatever you can find. Greash the oven. Turn the cake tin 360 s and try not to fall over. Don’t forget to beat off the turner. Finally, throw the bowl through the window. Finish the tequila and wipe the counter with the cat.

Cherry Mristmas

Thanks Dad Joe

Green Bay Packers Stock

Now I can say that I am an official Green Bay Packers stock holder

Thanks to the husband on this one